N = R X FP X NE X FL X FI X FC X L
R is the average rate of star formation in our galaxy.
FP is the fraction of those stars that have planets.
NE is the average number of planets that can potentially support life per star that has planets.
FL is the fraction of the above that actually go on to develop life at some point.
FI is the fraction of the above that actually go on to develop intelligent life.
FC is the fraction of civilizations that develop a technology that releases detectable signs of their existence into space.
L is the length of time such civilizations release detectable signals into space.
Now this N is the number of civilizations in our galaxy with which communication might be possible. Unfortunately none of the values are calculable. But fortunately by very contrived mathematical models I was able to arrive at a strikingly similar equation.
n = r X fp X ne X fl X fi X fc X l
r is the number of eligible girls on earth.
fp is the fraction of those girls that don't already have bfs/gfs and/or husbands.
ne is the average number of those girls whom I even have a remote chance of running into.
fl is the fraction of the above that actually go on to develop life at some point. (And by life here I mean their existence of which I'm a part of i.e I must have somehow gotten to know them)
fi is the fraction of the above that actually go on to develop intelligent life. (You can add other adjectives like pretty, has a good sense of humour as well but that's only gonna take the numbers lower)
fc is the fraction of such girls that develop a tendency to like me and be liked in return.
l is the length of time such girls release detectable signals into space. (Meaning before they realize what they have gotten into and make a run for their lives)
So there you go, that is the number of girls out there for me. Whats ironic though is the fact that all the corresponding variables in the Drake's equation are arguably* larger than the ones in my equation.
R >> r
FP >> fp
and so on.
which can imply only one thing,
n <<<< N
Hence the number of girls out there for me is considerably smaller than the number of civilizations in our galaxy with which communication might be possible.
OK. So what do we do now.
Since the odds are obviously better with Drakes equation I decided that the next time a Martian makes contact I'm gonna propose marriage**.
* Don't ask me how, but if you still want to know - the calculation is based on heuristic analysis of existing stochastic simulations on individuals based on random sampling.
** Obviously, its gotta be a she-martian. Assuming they even have a notion of gender differentiation.
P.S this post is not to be construed as evidence of the author's growing desperation in matters of the heart. Rather it should be treated as what it is. An academic treatise on a matter of grave importance or BS spawned by a perennially bored brain.