27 August, 2009

And then she said…

Warning : Post contains slightly graphic content. Could very easily be thought of as distasteful by the general populace.

So if u're a prude, Go do something else in the interlude. But hey if u are quite the dude, Then maybe the humour's not quite so lewd.

(See that’s why i don't try to rhyme)</End Warning>

Imagine this. A 75 kg 6ft 3 inch mass of unadulterated enthu equipped with two left feet at-least-half-a-dozen left feet skipping and dancing in pure joy. That, if you haven't guessed it yet, was me, last Saturday.

The reason : She'd come in early. She wasn't supposed to be here until this Tuesday and yet she was here on Saturday. This sort of thing almost never happens. But hey I'm not complaining.

Right. So about her. First things first. She’s hot. You don’t get that feeling right away though. It takes some time, you gotta spend some time with her. Most people say she gets hotter by the minute. (:blush)

She’s the right size too. A couple of inches here or there and all would have been lost. But no. Not her. She’s just right. I have this rule, borne out of my many past predicaments. One of these was self inflicted, due to saturnine saturation on my tongue on one fateful day. But most of them were due to certain Satan-incarnates I call friends.

Anyway the rule is -

Involve yourself romantically in a relationship only when you know you can lift her.

or To put it in a crisp but crass manner -

If you can’t heave it, then you can’t have it.

Not to do this. Nah. Never . Its just good logic, don’t you think.

Anyway back to her. Lifting her was easy peasy. Nowadays I spend most of my spare time with her. And if all the other chairs are occupied I … ahem ahem … let her sit on my lap.

Our courtship was completely online (Yeah go ahead judge me). So I hadn’t really spoken with her in person. So this Saturday, you’ll understand when I say I was a little nervous, when

She said, …

(drawing semicircle on ground with my foot)

She said, … those three words to me.

She said,

Welcome to Vista.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. My lady friend is indeed a laptop. Pretty lame, I know. But every blogger is apparently entitled to one lame post with that very guessable (oh-so-you-think-that’s-a-) twist ending.

Author’s note :

  • To those who guessed it – congratulations on figuring out the obvious.
  • To the utterly gullible minority that wound up feeling put out – Gotta hand it to you. You have a very vivid imagination. You are an eternal optimist. You’re probably the nutcase who when shown an empty glass, says – It is completely filled with air. Bravo!
Now playing: Yes - Owner of a Lonely Heart
via FoxyTunes


  1. You never told me...You never told me you got a gal??

    I am curious to know...Who is model?Whats the weight? Whats the size? Whats the config? Whats the rate? and ofcourse i mean the laptop...

  2. yeah this is her facebook profile ->