24 November, 2008

if ( me==pulliraja ) { answer=true }

So all you c-programming-savvy-pullirajas would have by now arrived at the conclusion that I've got AIDS. I don't deny it. Infact I'm proud of it. But just before all of you go gaga over my perceived state of distress I'm sorry to disappoint you by saying that I'm referring to a condition very different from what Pulliraja might/might not have acquired.

I have an Acquired Immunity to Dry Sarcasm and there's a very good reason as to why I call it 'acquired'.

You know people say that when life throws rocks at you, you should build a wall with them. Or was it a bridge? I don't know. Anyway my philosphy in my life was when life throws rocks at you, go hide behind 'em. That worked. Atleast until my 11th Standard. Coz right then life threw a man named Molaga Bajji and a pair of shorts at me.

edit: original name edited out for anonymity, and future occurrences have been not-so-cleverly replaced with Molaga Bajji.

Let me introduce the principal characters in this teenage drama/action/romantic/comedy

A Pair of Shorts - Shorts coz they are short. They are so very aptly named, aren't they?
Molaga Bajji - his very name sounds villainic doesn't it? Rightly so.
And well, me.

That moron, Bajji , was the Director of Education (or some such high post) in the DAV Group of Schools, Chennai. In a moment of heat-induced-madness coupled with what I suspect was a periodic-bout-of-gayish-tendencies he decided to make all the boys at DAV wear shorts on Saturdays and days with Physical Training Sessions.(or the more colloquial PT if u'd prefer it)

To say I'm tall would be an understatement. To say that if you climbed high enough that you could see me silhouetted against the horizon would be an exaggeration (that my vertically challenged friends would not be very fond of). Lets just say that I'm somewhere between those two. With that and the shorts in mind understand the predicament I was in.

Every day the journey to and from the school was a nightmare. There were several different reactions. Most of it was non verbal to which I'm thankful. But more often than not their expressions said it all. Here are a few of the expressions that I translated,

The busy-office-going-guy's WTF 360 : He's almost passed me by in his hurry but realizes something was amiss with what he saw and does a lightning quick 360 that will have him humored for the rest of the day.

The just-reached-9th-Std : The guys (who have just graduated to pants from shorts) have a very annoying self satisfied smirk on their face, and the girls, they have just started learning the art of group giggling, and are literally LOLing/ROTFLing.

The list is almost endless. The bewildered kindergartener who wants to know why the anna is still wearing shorts to school.

The former school mates who were waiting for just something like this to happen.

And my personal favourite expression,
The bus conductor's Duuude! How many classes did you fail?

My fellow victims and I did finally think of a diabolical plan to be rid of this embarrassment. All that and more details about the atheltic activities during our PT sessions in the next post.

To be continued...
Ever since Chandrakantha, Raja Aur Rancho, Shaktimaan and the like, I've always wanted to do that. :P

P.S: Just to be clear. About the I'm tall line. I never said 'tall handsome and good looking guy' .

P.P.S: People who don't know me that well and/or those who didn't get the P.S comment, I had to try real hard not to spell it out to you. Lets just say theres a very eligible bachelor in orkut.

P3S: Do read Nightraja's take on Chennai Schools and their Chic Summer wear.


  1. dood! nice ra(si)chu fying post! i believe ur fondness towards sexy enuf slippers (to doggies) also qualifies to be called as the so called "periodic bout of gayish tendancies" wat say?

  2. Nah! guys who get parrot green/ brighter-than-the-sun orange tshirts and the rest of the crowd that doesn't c anything wrong with it...they suffer from "periodic....tendencies"... not me....and wait up for the the next post... it 'is ro'mantic as well as ra'si'chufying as u have so elegantly put it....

  3. mani.... i m ROFL thinking about the harassments done to u in 10+1 class.. ur "அம்மா, உங்க மகன் எப்பியாவது பயிச்சு பெய்யவனாய் அந்த பாயிகளை பாய் வாங்குவேன்.." dialogue suits well here. only remark i wanna give is padichu pir kaalathula paavigalai pali vangu but ithu ku mela periyavan aaidathe. :P

  4. @singam touche! do u remember the Complan (COMpletely PLANned food) ad way back in the late 90's.. naanum andha group of kids la irundhen... after the shoot they took me to a testing centre and did experimental tests on me and from then on it was always naan valandhukittteee irupene mummy!

  5. dei enakku nadandha embarrasment oda idhu mosama irukku da...en kadhaiya naan post panren...nalla velai venkat laam un school la padikkala...

    btw i never understood the caption for this post...was it a trick to get us reading thru this post...?

  6. never understood the caption for this post
    dude... pulli rajavuku AIDS varuma?
    that was the qn and the answer to that is if (me==... ... =true}

    u just put the bad joke out of its misery ... but then again as u say it was also to make people read the post...

    and does urs involve bad-mouthing auto guys and/or shiny headed Maths tution vathiyars ?

  7. Mani

    when life throws rocks at you, go hide behind 'em. is the rock in this line refers to ur davg darling?

  8. The best post .. okkali english and semaya irukku... was LOLing most of the time.. viri..

  9. @SP: uhmmm... no comments!

    @all appreciative readers: Dhangs ba!

  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

  11. piri description .. hand-in-hand throughout your experience ..
    aana Mani, namma dav pigures dhan onna andha getup la paathu rasikanum nu bhajji kita request pannadhu pathi onakku theriyama poche da ...

  12. @sid: thanks dude! :)

    but namma school ngra... figure ngra... "enna" paakangra... edhuvume tally aagaliye?